this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
