Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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