She's JV to your varsity
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
