She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
