I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
