I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
only if we run a train.
done.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
