Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
