who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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