Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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