i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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