Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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