I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
