Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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