One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
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Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
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View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Sorry about my life...
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