im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
