So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
