I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
