Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
