I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
