Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I look better un-naked...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
