Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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