I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
