Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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