girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
you inspire me to be a worse person
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
