All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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