I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
this just has baby written all over it
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
