If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
