I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
