my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
