Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
