Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
