Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
