wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
