Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
