You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
