Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
