yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
