I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
