Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Two words: blizzard sex
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
