The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
