I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
