I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
