I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
