I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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