Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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