There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize