Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
