i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
