i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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