just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
