when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
