My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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