Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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