i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
