My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Welp...herpes.
you would pick up someone in the library
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼‍♀️
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
