Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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