i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
