you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
