So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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