We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
