too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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