Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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